Sunday, March 18, 2012

Happy St. Patty's Day To Me

My lunch shift on St. Patrick's Day was pretty uneventful. I'm still only on two tables at a time because I'm new. None of my tables were problematic or particularly unpleasant. In fact, most of my tables really seemed to like me and left me good tips. Towards the last two hours of my shift I ended up getting several $10 tips which is totally awesome. But it was one of my last tables that really surprised me. It was a two-top table, of a couple close to my age. It looked like they were going to go downtown to partake in SXSW stuff. They were pretty quiet and very low-maintenance. I brought them to-go drinks and some extra breadsticks to take home and the guy seemed really surprised and appreciative. I waved them goodbye and almost fell over when I saw the check...


Welcome to my life :)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Mr. And Mrs. StickUpAss

I've been working here for almost 3 weeks, and I've been pretty happy with 95% of my tables. Sure, there are pain-in-the-ass old people, obnoxious teenagers, nit picky hard to please people, etc. But one of my tables tonight TAKES. THE. CAKE.

This week is Spring Break and it's been crazy on and off, it comes in waves. This table came in during one of the more busier waves. I approach and I'm greeted by a scowling man, a woman who literally looks like she has a stick up her ass, and a MISERABLE young kid. I'm talking Cameron Frye (from Ferris Buler's Day Off) kind of miserable. I immediately assume from their demeanor that perhaps they had been seated a while without being greeted, which naturally would piss most people off. Nope.

Apparently they just had their sassy pants on tonight. Okay, so I proceed with drinks. When I come back to take their order, the woman is a raging bitch for no reason. She's not only picky and demanding, but she's condescending and belittling. The husband seems to be missing any and all muscles in his face, he has virtually no expression. He also avoids eye contact with me most of the night, talking at me and not to me. After listening to the woman's agonizing order (she ordered for all 3 of them) she informs me that it was her son's 10th birthday yesterday and they weren't able to celebrate. (BIG SHOCKER! What? No awesome shin dig for "Cameron" at the StickUpAss house?!)

After I inform her that our restaurant no longer sings or celebrates birthdays, she huffs and puffs and basically shushes me away.

I spend the next 30 minutes hauling ass to accommodate these assholes. I went and bugged the cooks to make sure her picky ass order was made right (after all, she did warn me that she wouldn't hesitate to send stuff back! GASP!) I'm new so that was ballsy. No complaints when I brought the food out. So I wondered if my overcompensation was slowly winning them over?

Normally kid's sundays are $2 if they order a kid's meal. I figure it's probably no big deal if I just make him a free one for his birthday. I mean shit, if those are his parents, the kid deserves an ice cream factory! So even though I have stuff I need to do for my other tables, I go back and make him a kick ass sunday. I'm talking 3 big scoops of vanilla ice cream, lots of whipped cream, carmel/chocolate/raspberry syrup, powdered sugar/chocolate AND TWO CHERRIES ON TOP!

I bring it out and tell them it's on me and I made it personally. She looks HORRIFIED.
UGH. Well....I guess we're going to need a to-go box for his food now aren't we? Since you brought it out before he was done. (She looks at her son who looks like a deer in headlights) Do you want to finish your food or do you want that ice cream???
Um, ma'am I'm sorry I was just trying to do something nice, if it's a problem I can take it back to the kitchen.
No. Ugh. Just bring us to-go boxes. 

OOOOOOO child! I'm not violent, but I wanted to clock that bitch so hard across the face it isn't even funny.

Blah blah blah. They left me $4 on a $50 check. C U Next Tuesday, lady!

Welcome to my life.

P.S- After they left the booth behind them (that didn't belong to me) waved me over and made me sit down with them. The mom went on and on about how she couldn't believe how big of a bitch that woman was and how horrible they were to me. She said she wanted to say something to her, but her husband said absolutely not, haha! Crazy! She told me that I was "wonderful and delightful" and she couldn't believe how ungrateful the couple was. She apologized and told me she was going to talk to one of the managers. That made me feel a little better. :)